White Out

To be unable to see through the blanket of snow is a humbling moment in time.
When you don’t know what is happening right in front of you,
You need to have a little faith.
Knowing that nothing in front of you is certain.
Causes one to stop, and think of their mortality.
Nature at it’s best and worst is unexplainable.
A force one should never mess with.
Yet the perfect description of beauty.

Beauty Shouldn’t Be Pain…Yet It Usually Is.

I’m sitting here thinking to myself about these new little toys I got (I’m almost embarrassed to say), hair extensions. I’ve always had this image of being at my wedding with long flowing hair, youthful and happy. Sadly after a year of hair growing it isn’t as long as I imagined. So I’m getting creative and trying to have some fun with it.
And I can’t help but chuckle to myself as I think about how saying that I have extensions embarrasses me.
The other thoughts crossing my mind are how phony we can get about certain things, and I’m not in any way trying to be judgmental. Because I know I fall into the phony crowd. I’m being for real.
We all know the saying, ‘Beauty is pain’, but does it have to be? What is it about us that settles on one superficial view of beauty. What makes us not want goofy pictures of us being posted on Facebook? I mean if you look at it those are the moments we are having the most fun, being ourselves the most.
Why do you have to be under size four to look ‘good’, those aren’t the healthiest moments of (most of) our lives.
Imagine how much we would save weekly, monthly, yearly, if we weren’t so concerned on our appearances, if our make up or hair looks perfect.
We wouldn’t waste time in the morning trying to find the ‘perfect’ outfit for the day.
We would be self-hate free, I’m going to be real with you. When I look in the mirror I never see the good things about myself, I see that I’m a good 70 pounds over what I was when I was a young teen (and I can guarantee I was far from healthy at that point in my life). I see scars on that I put on my body (and deeply regret), I see a spotty complexion, goofy bangs, and more curves than I would ever want.
And I’ll be honest, I can’t see what others see when they look at me, and I can’t imagine what it’s like to view myself as another person.
But the reason I can see only the bad, is because I’ve grown up in a world that views beauty as a makeup slathered, celery eating, photo edited, perfect nonexistent human being.
I myself need to learn that without all the excess pressure from the media to be a ‘beautiful’ person, does not mean I have to conform and follow ‘their’ expectations.
Beauty does not have to be pain, waxing this, bleaching that, plucking those, adding there, covering that spot, hiding those curves.
I can be proud of the fact that I have the perfect hourglass figure, beautiful clear green eyes, mile long eyelashes, a fantastic smile that shouldn’t be hidden, and a short adorable height.
I shouldn’t have to hurt myself to look good, I just have to be comfortable in who I am.
The other day I had a woman come up to me I see her quite often and she started telling me how she finally had the courage to tell me how youthful, happy, and beautiful I was. She went on to tell me that as a young women she never felt pretty, or beautiful, but looking a photographs realized it was not so. She ended with telling me, she hoped I wasn’t one of those people.
People that are around to make others day are people I love keeping around. Their so encouraging and uplifting.
In the end, I may be a phony about some things in life, but I try to keep myself the real me deep down where it counts.

Free counters

Sometimes you gotta go Nike and Just Do It.

Hey folks! First off I apologize, I’ve been very busy this weekend. You know. Doing nothing.
My brain juices are pretty much gone, I’m a little stressed, and overly tired. So I’m just taking a little time to myself, I may post this week I may not and I apologize if I don’t.
What is life without a few ups and downs.
Last week I was working on this little project I’ve had rattling around in my brain for some time.
I finally just said to myself  ‘self if you’re not going to use the Nike motto for exercise use it for motivation elsewhere. Just Do It’
The end result is tireder version of myself.
But seriously though if you’d like to see my little project go here.
What I think I will start doing (and this refers back to my New Years post) working on getting up two or three posts here (Tuesday, Thursday, and maybe Sunday?) and the other days of the week I’ll post photography.
That way with all the Dr. stuff going on, and wedding planning, and just plain life I’m not getting that guilty feeling for not posting something great every single day.
And it relieves some pressure from me, without losing my love of writing.
Now I give you all permission if you’re not seeing stuff up at LEAST twice a week get on me about it, because I don’t want to stop all together, and sometimes I need to hear from others to get moving a little more (specially if I’m in a rut).
So check out my project, let me know what you think, and bug me as much as possible about posting new stuffs.

Mudslide Cookies

Get your milk ready! A dash of coffee intensifies the luscious flavor of cocoa powder and three types of chocolate. Crispy on the outside, chewy on the inside, and rich and delicious all the way around is how readers rate these brownie-like cookies. Need we say more? Makes 30 cookies.

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 tablespoons butter
• 2 ounces bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
• 2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, coarsely chopped
• 1 tablespoon instant coffee granules
• 1 tablespoon hot water
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (about 6 3/4 ounces)
• 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 2 1/2 cups sugar
• 1/2 cup egg substitute
• 2 large eggs
• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
• 1/4 cup semisweet chocolate minichips

Preparation

• Preheat oven to 350°.
• Place butter, bittersweet chocolate, and unsweetened chocolate into a microwave-safe bowl; microwave at HIGH 1 minute or until chocolate is almost melted. Stir until smooth. Combine coffee granules and 1 tablespoon hot water, stirring until granules dissolve. Stir coffee and vanilla into chocolate mixture.
• Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Combine flour, cocoa, baking powder, and salt, stirring well with a whisk. Combine sugar, egg substitute, and eggs in a large bowl; beat with a mixer at high speed 6 minutes or until thick and pale. Gently stir 1/4 of egg mixture into chocolate mixture; stir chocolate mixture into remaining egg mixture. Stir in flour mixture, nuts, and chocolate chips.
• Cover baking sheets with parchment paper. Drop dough by rounded tablespoonfuls 2 inches apart on prepared baking sheets; with moist hands, gently press dough into 1/4-inch-thick rounds. Bake at 350° for 15 minutes or until set. Cool 1 minute. Remove from pans; cool completely on wire racks.

Note: When the cookies are done, they’ll be cracked on top and still moist in the center

Nutritional Information

Amount per serving

• Calories: 142
• Calories from fat: 29%
• Fat: 4.7g
• Saturated fat: 2g
• Monounsaturated fat: 1g
• Polyunsaturated fat: 1.1g
• Protein: 2.5g
• Carbohydrate: 25.2g
• Fiber: 1.3g
• Cholesterol: 16mg
• Iron: 1.1mg
• Sodium: 59mg
• Calcium: 29mg

By Debbie Calhoun, myrecipes,com

LIke The Rose Handle With Care

I gave you my heart made of porcelain, please don’t break it.
I gave you my love in a gift box, please care for it.
I gave you my hope in a golden box, please let it shine.
My heart is yours,
My love is yours,
My hope is yours.
I am yours.
My heart is like the most fragile rose.
My love can be as sweet as its smell.
My hope if allowed will blossom.
Slow to begin with but once it starts it opens with speed.
It only lasts as long as it’s care is good.
One wrong move and it can fall apart.
My trust can fall apart and lose itself like the dying rose.
I am yours,
I trust you with myself.
Please handle with care.
Like you would a rose.

From the archives.
August 15, 2008

Propagandaing

First off I want to inform all and any of my readers the following is NOT my writing. It is from Jane Wells in an email that was sent out to everyone with a wordpress blog. I take no credit in what is said here. But I recommend that anyone with opportunity to take a moment and stand up for our rights.

On January 18, 2012, sites all over the internet will be blacking out to protest and try to mobilize more people to speak out against this bill coming up in the Senate next week — S. 968: the Protect IP Act (PIPA) — in an attempt to let U.S. lawmakers know how much opposition there is. WordPress.org, Wikipedia, and even WordPress.com VIP I Can Has Cheezburger? will be participating in the blackout to raise awareness and spur you to action.

Here on WordPress.com, we want to participate as well. Freshly Pressed will be blacked out during the strike. Sorry to take away your daily fix of yummy web content, but this bill threatens to do that on a much wider scale. You don’t want that, do you?

More importantly, we are making it possible for you to participate in the protest. There are two options: a “Stop Censorship” ribbon and a full blackout. The blackout portion will be in effect January 18 from 8am to 8pm EST, while the ribbon will be displayed until January 24. Here’s how to join in:

Go to Settings → Protest SOPA/PIPA in your dashboard.
Select if you want to join the blackout or show a ribbon.
If you choose to join the blackout, you can edit the message that will be shown on your site during the blackout.
Preview what your protest will look like.
Click “Save Changes” button to activate your protest.
That’s it! Easy-peasy activism right at your fingertips.

The “Stop Censorship” ribbon will display in the upper corner of your site and links to americancensorship.org. It will display until January 24, 2012 (the Senate vote date).

If you choose to do the blackout in addition to the ribbon, then we will black out your site from 8am to 8pm EST along with the official strike. You can customize the message that will appear on your blacked-out site to tell people why this issue is important to you. Your site will return to just displaying the ribbon after the strike is over.

I hope that a significant number of you on WordPress.com will join in this protest. Publishing freedom is a right we must protect.

And one last pitch: whatever you decide to do about your site, please take a few minutes to head over to americancensorship.org and take action. It only takes a few moments of your time to be an agent of change!

 

~ Me again~

Motion Picture Assn. of America Chief Executive Chris Dodd, the former Senator from Connecticut,
“It is an irresponsible response and a disservice to people who rely on them for information and who use their services,” Dodd said in a statement. “It is also an abuse of power given the freedoms these companies enjoy in the marketplace today.” (read more)
Which the above statement may be true, and I understand that the main ‘goal’ is to stop copy-written items from being abused and overused. But it’s the core idea that is what matters and offends me. It is my opinion that if this bill passes we honestly lose the right to protect our rights to free speech, and privacy, if we are being censored it will not be long before ANYone that speaks out in one way or another will be deleted, and the message or whatever it was that they were trying to relay or get out there would never be known of (such as the Occupy Movement it wouldn’t have become a movement without the media footage {even as little as it was} wouldn’t have been heard if it weren’t for the internet, blogs, Facebook, tweets, all of those places that they are wanting to censor). But of course they’re sugar-coating it, wanting you to believe the main reasoning for SOPA/PIPA is to stop piracy. Pull your head out of your arse and see it for what it really is. Take the candy away from that baby and see the truth.
This is why Jan the 18 of 2012 I will be participating in the Blackout.

End Propagandaing.

Genuine Question

I am curious to see what others think.
I like to believe my writing style has changed, and improved greatly. I will first show you something I wrote at least four years ago, then I will post the way I want it to read now. I’d like to know which you preferred, why, and what you think. Please, please, please leave feedback!.

Fog (original)
The fog came rolling into the Bay as if it where a thick blanket.
One second you could see a bird soaring,
And the next it was gone,
Making you look back and wonder if it was real or just something in your imagination.
Then a little bit later you see the fog clear just enough to see across the Bay and just make out a light.
Then in another spot you can see the sun start to break through the fog creating rays of light reflecting on the waters.
Minutes later the Bay is clear the sky is blue and the sun is shining on the water,
The fog no even leaving a trace of its being there.
Making you wonder if it was there or something from your imagination.

Fog (recent)
The fog came rolling into the Bay,
As if it were a thick blanket being spread.
One second you see birds soaring in  the sky,
The next their gone as if they are but ghosts.
Something in your imagination alone.
Causing you to reflect a moment.
Shortly after it is nothing but clear.
Skies are blue,
Wind stirring your eyelashes.
Waters calm,
The sun stimulating warmth on the skin.
Leaving sign of nothing.

 

Hazelnut Chocolate Biscotti

This crunchy cookie gets its rich flavor from two kinds of chocolate candy bars and hazelnut liqueur. Makes 2 1/2 dozen.

Ingredients

• 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cup white cornmeal
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 (1.4-oz.) milk chocolate-covered buttery toffee candy bars, cut into small chunks
• 1 (5-oz.) milk chocolate candy bar, cut into small chunks
• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 1 cup  Granulated Sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 3 tablespoons hazelnut liqueur

Preparation

• Preheat oven to 350°. Stir together first 4 ingredients in a bowl. Stir in candy bar chunks.
• Beat butter at medium speed with an electric mixer until creamy. Gradually add sugar, beating until blended and stopping to scrape down sides as needed. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating until blended after each addition. Add flour mixture (1 cup at a time) alternately with liqueur (1 Tbsp. at a time). Beat until blended after each addition.
• Divide dough in half. Roll each dough half into a 16-inch-long log, and place on a greased baking sheet. Flatten each log to 3/4-inch thickness. (Dough will be soft and sticky.)
• Bake at 350° for 20 to 25 minutes or just until golden. Remove baked logs, keeping oven on.
• Cut each log crosswise into 3 equal sections. Transfer each section to a cutting board, and cut into 1/2-inch-thick slices, wiping knife clean after every 2 cuts. Transfer biscotti to baking sheet, cut sides up.
• Turn oven off. Let biscotti stand in oven, with door closed, 1 hour.

Found on myrecipes.com by Mary Sherman.

Ramblings. I apologize.

This last week up here in the great ol’ Homer, Alaska it has been a record breaker. Almost non-stop snow since Monday night we’ve had two snow days this week (and it takes a lot of snow to get Alaskans to take a legit snow day). At least two blizzards so far, white out conditions, thankfully everyone I know has been safe with no accidents.
With all this down time and not going anywhere (I am truly terrified of driving in my little car with snow up to the doors) I’ve been able to take a few trips down memory lane, as you saw on my last post, finding old pictures, and reminiscing over old dreams.
One of my biggest dreams was to be a writer big surprise right? I wasn’t a big dreamer, most of my dreams were pretty practical, and down to earth.
As far as being a writer goes, I didn’t dream huge either, the only thing I’ve ever wanted was someday to read my thoughts, my play on words and enjoy the effort I make. As I am sure all others that put forward their works of art, visual, verbal and anything in between.
I have a confession to make. Half of the time I feel like I’m a total wreck (emotional, but mainly physically). Currently I am in the middle of a long strenuous tedious health fight type thing. Basically I’ve been sick for 6-7 years and the Dr.’s have always turned me away saying I’m fine, but years and years of persistence, continuously going to Dr after Dr, I found one that believes me, not telling me it’s all in my head. Several pints of blood later, they have finally found ‘some abnormalities’ that they can’t figure out. The last several months we’ve been trying to find a specialist that will take my case. Eventually something will happen. In the meantime they are attempting to regulate the physical pain with medications.
Besides that life is wonderful, my fiancé and I are moving on with our wedding plans (April is fast approaching) and our excitement and terror is growing. Vastly.
I try to do my utmost best to keep my writing and my personal struggles separate. I want to apologize to any of my regular readers (mainly friends) for the occasional drift into the personal. Not trying to say that I want this space to be an impersonal space.
I just don’t want to be a downer to everyone else out there. And I know a lot of people don’t always view me as the most happy chipper person (on the inside you’d think I was a ray of sunshine if only you could see me) and they think I’m not happy with life and that is most definitely not the case I love my life, and the people in it, I just tend to be deep in thoughts, working on keeping my thoughts off negativity (there tends to be far too much in our current state of being), and on all the great things in life (my soon to be husband, my dear amazing friends, my supporters you know who you are {D}, my fantastic family that loves me even when I disappoint which tends to be more often than not), and not letting pain affect my outward appearance (my mood, my emotions, the way I treat and behave towards those around me and in my life. And I will not lie sometimes all I want to do is be a grouch, or turn Hulk on your ass, or curl up in a ball, being protected from the pain and babied like no mans business. So the fact that most days I can semi behave like a normal human being is incredible). That is why I want this place to be an escape from my reality, and a lighter side of things for those reading. This is my bright little corner, where everything in life seems less dark and formidable. I find blogging tends to help  keep me grounded and give me a brighter outlook on life. Positivity is always a bonus right?