This last week up here in the great ol’ Homer, Alaska it has been a record breaker. Almost non-stop snow since Monday night we’ve had two snow days this week (and it takes a lot of snow to get Alaskans to take a legit snow day). At least two blizzards so far, white out conditions, thankfully everyone I know has been safe with no accidents.
With all this down time and not going anywhere (I am truly terrified of driving in my little car with snow up to the doors) I’ve been able to take a few trips down memory lane, as you saw on my last post, finding old pictures, and reminiscing over old dreams.
One of my biggest dreams was to be a writer big surprise right? I wasn’t a big dreamer, most of my dreams were pretty practical, and down to earth.
As far as being a writer goes, I didn’t dream huge either, the only thing I’ve ever wanted was someday to read my thoughts, my play on words and enjoy the effort I make. As I am sure all others that put forward their works of art, visual, verbal and anything in between.
I have a confession to make. Half of the time I feel like I’m a total wreck (emotional, but mainly physically). Currently I am in the middle of a long strenuous tedious health fight type thing. Basically I’ve been sick for 6-7 years and the Dr.’s have always turned me away saying I’m fine, but years and years of persistence, continuously going to Dr after Dr, I found one that believes me, not telling me it’s all in my head. Several pints of blood later, they have finally found ‘some abnormalities’ that they can’t figure out. The last several months we’ve been trying to find a specialist that will take my case. Eventually something will happen. In the meantime they are attempting to regulate the physical pain with medications.
Besides that life is wonderful, my fiancé and I are moving on with our wedding plans (April is fast approaching) and our excitement and terror is growing. Vastly.
I try to do my utmost best to keep my writing and my personal struggles separate. I want to apologize to any of my regular readers (mainly friends) for the occasional drift into the personal. Not trying to say that I want this space to be an impersonal space.
I just don’t want to be a downer to everyone else out there. And I know a lot of people don’t always view me as the most happy chipper person (on the inside you’d think I was a ray of sunshine if only you could see me) and they think I’m not happy with life and that is most definitely not the case I love my life, and the people in it, I just tend to be deep in thoughts, working on keeping my thoughts off negativity (there tends to be far too much in our current state of being), and on all the great things in life (my soon to be husband, my dear amazing friends, my supporters you know who you are {D}, my fantastic family that loves me even when I disappoint which tends to be more often than not), and not letting pain affect my outward appearance (my mood, my emotions, the way I treat and behave towards those around me and in my life. And I will not lie sometimes all I want to do is be a grouch, or turn Hulk on your ass, or curl up in a ball, being protected from the pain and babied like no mans business. So the fact that most days I can semi behave like a normal human being is incredible). That is why I want this place to be an escape from my reality, and a lighter side of things for those reading. This is my bright little corner, where everything in life seems less dark and formidable. I find blogging tends to help keep me grounded and give me a brighter outlook on life. Positivity is always a bonus right?
Do you remember when you wanted to be a missionary to China? I think you wanted to take care of lots of orphans, if I remember correctly:0). I keep remembering that and when you wanted us to have 20 or 30 more kids. LOL.
No I don’t think I do. The thought of that many kids is almost terrifying O_O lol
Lol! You’re telling me!!! That’s what I thought when you said it. I think these were at different times but both happened in Michigan. You kept saying you were going to live in China someday…