Now so others don’t decide to argue with me on this I’m stating it before hand. I DO believe that Satan has powers over your mind to make you believe things that you shouldn’t, I understand that and know that. But I want to be able to write my way so in this I wont be constantly stating his powers. I know prayer and reading the Bible… But I want to be able to express myself. And who knows I’ll probably end up deleting the post of self-consciousness.
The power my mind has over me is incredible. Right now my mind is telling me that I’m in a funk.
I’m pissed off at the world and I’ve only been awake for an hour.
In my mind I’ve failed at blogging, I’ve had no inspiration or energy for weeks. Which in itself is discouraging.
It’s telling me that I haven’t worked hard enough this week, that I should push myself even more, and look for something do to. In my mind it doesn’t matter that the dishes are done the kitchen is clean, the living room is spotless, as well as the bathroom, and bedrooms. My mind focuses on the fact that I could be taking boxes out of my storage and throwing them away, I could be unpacking china, reorganizing my cupboards so there is a better flow in the kitchen. I have a few boxes of books and nicknacks I should go through. And even though I am exhausted my mind is telling my that I need to do more so that I feel like I’m accomplishing something, so that I’m not getting discouraged about myself.
My mind keeps telling me that my dreams are ridiculous, that I can’t have them now. And the logical side of me gets that and understands that, the emotional human side of me wants to see me get what I want without the pain of waiting.
My mind tells my emotions that I need more attention, that I need to be the center of attention, that I need someone to listen to ME more. And my emotions run with it and take it even more overboard than I need. Which isn’t true I’ve got great friends that listen when I need to rant (they’re the ones that will probably be reading this. Don’t take it personally guys, you do a good job) lecture me on not taking care of myself yadda yadda yadda.
My mind tells my self-esteem that this needs to be smaller I need to lose weight here, and here, and here. That I don’t do my makeup right, my face is plain, my body shaped oddly my laugh and personality strange. That I don’t fit in with those my age, that in a crowd I’m the outcast awkward and a misfit.
My mind tells me so many lies day-to-day and without those in my life encouraging me in who I am and what I’m doing I probably wouldn’t be here today. So thank you to my friends that let me be me. And encourage me in everyday life, you don’t know what it means to me or what it does.